Written by Eltaj Hasanova
It hasn’t been that long since we are apart, but I miss you a lot. It hasn’t been a hard semester at all, and I have a lot of friends, trust me. I know, you always tell me to meet new people, enjoy my time, and not to feel homesick… So, I listen to you, don’t worry.
I tried to cook your favourite dish the other day, I tried my best, so it would taste like yours, but still wasn’t as tasty. What do you add extra? I did everything you wrote down for me, mom.
You know, it was raining so hard yesterday, and thundering as well. Do you remember, the night we were home alone, and it was raining very heavily? I wanted you to bring me water, but you were afraid too, and told me, do I want you to go there and die? And I didn’t let you go after that. Please, mom, don’t die… ever…
I don’t know what I would do without you, mom. I would be so lonely, I would be a poor little girl, who is 23 years old… and I would have no one to make beautiful hairbands from flowers for me, mom.
I don’t know what is happening, mom. I miss you so much today. It is a nice day though. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, but none of them are as beautiful as when you sing to me. Sometimes, when I cannot sleep at night, I remember the lullaby you used to sing for me. The one about the red roses. And I sleep in peace, hearing your voice in my ears, and feeling your warmth around me…
Mom, I don’t know why, but I miss you a lot these days… I was looking at our childhood pictures and showed them to my friends. They always say that I look a lot like you. I am so happy, you know. I always wanted to be like you! I always wanted to look like you! This was the reason I grew my hair so long, as you did in your youth. So long, beautiful, and shiny… They say, my cheeks are the same as yours. This is why I love them so much. And I try to smile a lot! Because I look like you when I smile. How happy I feel, and I wish so much that, I would be as an awesome mother as you!
Mom, I was always happy that we were friends. I was so happy that you were sharing everything with me. Your sorrow, your happiness, and I were like your life mate! And I always felt that I am as grown up as you were even though I was so small. Mom, I love you so much! You always loved me too, and I always felt it. The best thing is feeling loved and protected under the wings of an angel like you.
Thank you so much, for supporting me in everything good or bad. Thank you for being with me while I was making mistakes and helping me to correct them! Thank you so much for the time when I spilled all the sugar on the way to home by mistake, and you did not get angry just smiled and hugged me. And thank you so much for always reminding me how smart I am, despite the failures I had. And thank you so much for always reminding me how beautiful I am, despite all the pimples I had all over my face…
Mom, I don’t know why I remember all these today, but maybe it’s because I miss you so much, and this is the way I can calm myself a little.
Despite all this nostalgia, I always feel you nearby, I always feel your love around. Thank you for being my mom, and I would never change you for anything in the world! You are my precious and will always be so!